DEALING WITH DISTRESS

As a very deep-feeling person, goodbyes (and other heart ache experiences) are always very stressful to me. I remember every teenage heartbreak, because I love intensely and therefore lived break-ups intensely.

On the one hand, the problem is that we tend to think that there is nothing else to do about emotional pain than to “live it out”. On the other hand, the problem is that we tolerate, justify and even relish our pity-parties...😬. One of the reasons why depression is so common, is that we think that we are helpless, while we aren’t!

When I am confronted with terrible heartache, I use a God-given recipe that is highly effective, if used as prescribed! 😉

1. God gave you TEARS. Use them. I always allow myself to mourn privately but intensely. In those moments I express my sorrow sincerely (to myself or to God) because voicing it is a way of facing your enemy. (I do not believe that we absolutely HAVE to pull another person into the equation - like when we have a sin to confess - but if it is someone you can trust, it can be helpful to have that additional support.) HOWEVER, it is important not to dwell on this step too long, because it can lead to self-pity. Express, confess, cry out your distress... but then move on!😉

2. CHANGE must be CHOSEN. You have to choose, at some point, to get over whatever is hurting you. YOU are the only one who can deliberately choose to not be subject to your pain. Refuse to dwell on the things that bring hurt and confusion. Instead, decide what you want your life to look like and dwell on positive dreams and thoughts. You don’t have to feel it or believe it to choose it, but your emotions and convictions will end up aligning themselves with your choices! This step is KEY....!

3. CLEAN your “house”. So you’ve moved out of the old one and you’ve chosen the new one, but you have to clean it before you can live in it completely. Jesus didn’t die for nothing. With salvation comes an authority we are allowed and supposed to use. I have learnt from experience that I can, in the Name of Jesus, loosen from my soul negativity, pain, anger, sin, depression, etc.... and command them to leave. I can also bind into my soul peace, love, joy, etc. I often feel anxiety lifting from me instantly, or sometimes I simply feel it declining more rapidly as I keep on working on my deliberate mind-shift. The two go hand in hand.

4. Adapt your ENVIRONMENT.

- Listening to love songs will not heal a broken heart!! 🙄😆 You might not feel like listening to worship music, but you will be surprised how soothing and uplifting it is. - Avoid negative people. - And, for crying out loud: HAVE FUN! Even if you actually only want to stay in bed with a blanket and chocolate ice cream, remember that laughter truly is the best medicine!

Finally, do all of the above repeatedly until you suddenly realize you don’t need to anymore! Sometimes you only need to do it once, while more dramatic experiences may require several “takes” (depending on how long it takes to rewire your mind...)

Oftentimes, we aren’t victims of depression, we are victims of our own reluctance to act in our own interest....

Whatever it is you are now facing, remember that our God is Bigger than this...!