Co-writing with God...

This is just a personal testimony that serves as an introduction to something new that will be added to the website in a while...

About 6 months ago, I distinctly heard God ask me to get ready to start discipling 12 people. I was startled! I mean... I didn't really see myself as an advanced spiritual leader... and how could I tell those people that He had laid on my heart: "hey I must disciple you!". That could come over as really arogant?!

I struggled with this for a while before it dawned on me what my real problem was. Two simultaneous problems actually: I was doubting God (Who, after all, knows what He is doing - duh!) and I was exercising the fear of man. The last is in truth a symptom of the former, because if we really trust God, we won't fear man's reactions. God in His great love and patience lead me into the process of dealing with my issues and in trusting Him more.

About 2 months ago God spoke again very clearly, telling me to start writing a discipleship course and to start calling those whom I needed to disciple personally. (I will take 12 people "under my wing", but the course will be available free of charge to whomever wants to do it) The funny thing with God is that He always calls you to do things when you feel as if you can't. This time it wasn't lack of trust (I was in fact excited beyond words at the prospect of writing the course!), but lack of...TIME!! I already had a to do list that seemed endless...

It just so happened (lol) that I stumbled upon a teaching at that time that introduced me to our capacity as children of God to be master over time and over our physical needs. Yes, I know this will sound "way out there" to some, but as a redeemed child of God you can actually, from a place of deep-rooted intimacy with God, subdue your flesh so it doesn't need as much sleep as it usually does (for example) and even manage to "step out of earth time" in order to accomplish more... Now I've probably lost some of you lol. Truth is, I decided to try it and... it worked! But ONLY if I stay close to God. As soon as I go into "striving mode", neglecting my time with Him for the sake of cramming even more into my schedule, then I suddenly have no control over my flesh and I become dead tired, sick and end up accomplishing even less than ever!

You see, God's priority will always be to draw us into a close-knit relationship with Him. From within that relationship every- and anything is possible!

At last, I could start to write! Holy Spirit told me to plan the outline first, and I did, but I got so excited that I got ahead of myself by starting to write the content... About 3 evenings later and having read and edited my 3 first entries about 5 times, I felt over-worked and frustrated. It wasn't that bad, but it wasn't that good either, and there was one section I felt uneasy about...

Exasperated, I shut off the computer and sat down with Jesus.

"Okay Jesus," I said "I get it. I have poured all my extra time into writing instead of talking to You about it first. Now how do I go from here, because I am clueless!"

He took me straight to the part I felt uneasy about and asked me:

"Is this your truth or mine?"

At that point, I really felt as if I was right, so I said: "Lord, I really believe that what I said is true, but please correct me if I'm wrong"

In the space of 10 minutes He showed me that my interpretation was fine, but that I was introducing spiritual meat into the baby food section...

I felt so humbled by His patience and decided that I would not write again if I wasn't 300% sure that it was what He wanted. The very instant I took that decision, He downloaded the outline of the first chapter into my spirit... As soon as I started writing again, everything just fell into place seemlessly!

The lesson I want you to learn from my experience, is that nothing is worth your while if you do not do it from a place of intimacy with God. You will waste your time and probably only realize it after having spent much energy and time on your own ideas. Some ideas are "good" ideas, but if they aren't "God" ideas, they will not bring you fulfillment...

How do we distinguish between good and God ideas? Well, we spend more time growing closer to Jesus.

In the end it boils down to a choice: either you want Jesus and you do what it takes to grow closer to Him, or you want to control your own life. It's the "free choice" that God has given you as a human being that you get to exercise!

As you can deduce, I am just starting to write the course, but as soon as Holy Spirit gives me the thumbs up, I will start uploading the first teachings into a new section of the website and let y'all know! God bless!