FULLNESS OF JOY

Over the past five years I have experienced an increasing hunger for God. The closer I get to Him, the more I realize how much there is to have, and consequently the more I want of Him!

Every now and then I have an off-day when I feel “stuck in gear”, and then I complain to Abba about my progression. To be quite honest, it suffices to look back over my journey to realize that my growth has actually been exponential! But oh that hunger... it is never stilled for long, and it keeps driving me toward craving more...!

A few days ago I was there again, in that rut. I was sad about the tiny ways in which I stall my own growth, the way in which I still sometimes fall back into old mindsets, even if just for a moment, and how I allow my many occupations and interests to distract me from the one thing that truly matters...

I was sitting on that rock by the sea (the one that I call the “thin place”...) and I said:

“Abba please... I need to progress faster! Please increase my growth rate!”

He replied “If I am to increase your growth-rate, I will have to increase your suffering...”

Wow! That statement really shook me...

I kept silent for a while, considering my options.

“Abba,” (I tried a different approach 🙈) “why is progression obtained through suffering? Why can’t we progress through joy ?”

He instantly replied “Suffering doesn’t have to be bad or depressing! Remember Paul who spoke about rejoicing in suffering, and James who advised you to count it al joy? I will and want for you to have fullness of joy!”

I was instantly reminded of the words of Jesus and found them later in John 17:13.

Then I found myself asking Father a strange question:

“Abba... what does fullness of joy mean to you?” And remembering that I was sitting on the thin place, where visions and revelations come more easily, I added: “Abba! Show me what fullness of joy looks like for YOU? “

Instantly I saw Jesus on the cross, as if I was seeing him from above...

I was silenced. Baffled, really.

I remembered John 3:16...: for Abba so loved the world...us...me... that the sacrifice of His son became an inexpressibly great joy to Him. By giving Himself, He made a way so that His own may be reunited with Him...

He spoke a last time:

“The only way to be reunited with me, is through death... though I am not referring to the day that your body will die”

Indeed, to be reunited with Father we need to understand and embrace the cross, and we need to make it our own. We can only be reunited with Him if we allow the beautiful process of dying to self, to strip us of all things vile and carnal. Yes, it means suffering, but it is beautiful and the result will be fullness of joy...!