WHEN HEALING DOESN'T COME...

Written : 2 October 2015

For the last 3 weeks I have been struggling with my health and the experience has been... beautiful! OK, now you think I've lost it. Allow me to explain:

About a year ago, God has called me into a deeper relationship with Him, one of true intimacy. He started to open my eyes so I could understand that the spiritual world existed around us. I do not see angels all the time, but He has allowed me to have a few profound experiences. This opened up a whole new dimension to me, also regarding my faith. I started to understand that there was a difference between our humanly fuelled attempts to believe and that supernatural Faith that He is the author of. THAT faith is a gift that He gives freely to anybody who WANTS it.

I wanted it, so I started to follow hard after God.

The first thing He took care of was my striving. I wasn't going to get it because of MY efforts, but because of His. Soaking in His presence was as much as He would allow me to do. (And, for those who have not yet experienced a "soaking session", it is AWESOME!!!)

My faith started to take off and soar. I experienced amazing miracles - from miraculous work-opportunities to stopping a storm wind... I was so bold in my faith that I started to become a bit upset with people who seemed to "hold on" to their challenging situations rather than to stand up in the authority of Jesus.I wanted the whole world to grasp what I have come to understand! But God has His unique way and time with every single one of us...

Then I got sick. I struggled with some serious stuff that would not leave no matter which faith-"recipe" I applied. One day, as I was sitting with fever & chills, aches and pains, I cried out to God asking Him "Why?".

He answered clearly: "So you may have more compassion"

It was like a cold shower. I realized how I have started to judge people because of (what I perceived to be) their lack of faith, whereas Jesus would have remained patient and loving. Yes, sometimes Jesus would scold the disciples "O you of little faith!", but He probably did it with a smile. He understood.

There and then I decided to trust Him, even being sick, even not knowing what was going on in my body.

Continuing to apply my "faith-recipes", I trusted that He would cause things to work out for my good. And He did.

After that episode I have enjoyed 5 months of really exceptional health. I read a book called "Supernatural Childbrith" and what I have learnt from it so improved my initial faith-"recipe", that my bloodsugar (I'm diabetic) started to improve dramaticly and I had to take less insulin. I was sooo excited!

Then, just as I was experiencing that victory (about 3 weeks ago) I got a cold, then a flu, then a cold again, then flu symptoms again and, finally, 3 days ago, a huge mega-flu-like thing struck me. From the first day I felt bad, I decided that I would stand in faith for healing, but that I would trust God no matter what.

As I am sitting here writing this, I have aches all over, but my SOUL is PROSPERING!

When I lie down and struggle to sleep, I soak in His presence until I drift off. When I wake and realize that the bug is still with me, I start to worship Him, thanking Him that, yet again, this episode will work out for my good. I have fantastic moments in bed just chatting with Him. It's not all reverent stuff, you know. We have laughs and talk about every day things... it's a friendship!

You see, when you have intimacy with God, you have EVERYTHING! When you suddenly understand that crazy love He has for you, then NOTHING can separate you from Him - "neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."(Rom8:39)

I laugh at the devil (because he is obviously the one attacking me) because he tries to catch me off guard so I would sin. Who knows when you are not feeling well, you are much more prone to explode in anger or be mega-irritable? So he tries me. He orchestrates incidents and I have to take that rising anger captive, submit it to Father and, rather, react in His love. (It's not always easy, but I manage through grace) This morning I woke up from an evil dream, full of lust and ugly stuff. I opened my eyes, rebuked the devil and laughed at him. I was not going to let this dream dictate my emotions. I could feel how upset he was!! He was probably scolding his demons saying: "Nothing is WORKING!!!!"

Well, of course nothing is working, because I am not leaving my safe place in God! I am clinging to my Daddy's leg like a little toddler would! No wonder He wants us to be like little kids!!

Dear friends, the devil will do everything in his power, on a daily basis, to try and depress you, opress you and drag you into sin. You can NOT make it on your own. You can not resist by your will alone. You need that intimacy with God. You need to decide to trust Him, no matter what. And the Peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts, no matter what you have to face!